Tribute to My Own Hometown

H.Rita

"Did you see those malnourished, dehydrated, pitiful little babies on television during Hurricane Katrina? Well I never thought that would happen to us...to our family. That baby on tv, that's MY baby. Our street looks like a mini-New Orleans; I'm afraid and my baby is exhausted....." -Lori Jones of Louisiana

I empathized with my neice as she said the most memorable words that stick in my mind to this very day, "How could this happen to us"?

I remember walking out on my porch with Richard and Ryan, laughing at Hurricane Rita, throwing glow sticks into the wind as we watched the winds whip them around all the way into the neighbor's yard. We thought to ourselves, "If this is the worst of it, this is laughable". We were not thinking this as it worsened to the point of no electricity later that night. When our walls rattled under the pressure and the sound of a freight train roared through the apartment, we then realized we were nowhere near prepared for Rita.

Waking up from a very agitated, fearful and nervous sleep, I rushed over to wake Richard up as the winds whipped past our windows. "Wake up babe....a tree could crash through the window near you at any moment. Let's all go sleep in the closet." Sleeping in the closet....that's not something I would be able to fathom on any given day. But today was a day when the closet felt safe. As the winds grew stronger and stronger, I picked up my neice's cigarette's and puffed away (I don't smoke). Finally, we all fell asleep due to exhaustion and the stress of anticipation pounding in our hearts.

Around 5:30 a.m., I shot up from the hallway in which I passed out earlier, after hearing the most dreadful sound ever. The hurricane winds sounded like someone had dropped a nuclear bomb over the town. The wind was so high that I wondered how on earth the walls were still in place. How we were all still alive? Operating on instinct alone, I sprinted to the kids room's, my frightened husband following shortly behind me. We scooped up the kids and ran into the walk-in closet that I had equipped earlier with a blow up mattress, candles, lighters, baby food, formula, water, gatoraide, diapers and wipes.

I peeked out the door of the closet once every ten minutes, only to hear the winds pick up more..and be terrified back into the oblivion of the closet. I had no idea whether we would live to need the baby wipes or supplies. All the worst-case scenarious kept flooding through my mind. But the imminent problem was that I had to pee, and I was terrified to leave the closet to go to the ladies room. I noticed that the tree in my neighbor's yard was hanging by a thread; it seemed like it would fall in the direction of my bedroom window if it were to lean any futher to the ground. I heard a threatening "crack" in the wood about once every fifteen minutes. As I made my way to the ladies' room, I heard my husband's voice behind my whispering, "don't lock the front door...if we don't make it out of here someone may need to find us....maybe if we leave it unlocked they'll find us". Shivering at the thought, I rushed to the restroom in silence.

Around 6am we'd endured the most we could handle and had fallen asleep directly in front of both bedroom windows, while the kids slept soundly in the walk-in closet. I heard a "creeeeeeeeeeek" and in an almost instinctive reaction, I pounced up from the bed and halled my rear end towards the front door. The tree was coming down and it sounded as if it were right over my head! With tears in eyes and fear in my heart, I ran like a bolt of lightning to the door. My poor husband was too tired to object, and breathlessly whispered, "Oh well there goes the tree", not daring to move his tired bones at all.

At 7am, we woke up in silence, looking around the townhouse and around the town to see the devastation. We couldn't handle it...we just walked around like zombies, breathing it in but not daring to speak of the tragedy, for fear it may be true.
Everytime I tried to prepare a bottle for Aidan, I was reminded that there was no water, no electricity and very little food. As we slowly ran out of baby formula, food and water, my deepest fears began to play themselves repeatedly like a broken record in my mind. Sleep that night did not come easily. With all the mildew from the rain and flooding, the mosquitoes and chiggers came in with a fierce appetite to devour us as we slept. At one point in time, I counted more than forty bites on each of my legs.
Aidan woke up constantly to cry for a bottle that was not available (I poured him gatoraide instead), and to scratch his bug bites or wipe the sweat off his little body.

Right when I thought things were at their worst, I met my neighbor's grandchild, who was one month old. I saw the welts on his body from the bugs and the dehydration setting in from lack of eating. I held him every day, but he couldn't eat or sleep..he was too dehydrated and displaced. This was when I came to the point of "having enough". After tossing and turning for four nights straight, living off of beef jerky and drinking nothing but strange tasting water, I sat up from my cot on the floor and cried. I called my Mom from my cell phone crying...she wasn't much help and didn't know what she could do for us other than pray.
I got dressed, grabbed all the gas cans from my neighbors, got in my car with Aidan and drove...and I drove...

And hour and a half later I was in Natchidotches, Louisiana. As I waited in line at the gas tank, I prayed that I would be able to buy gas. When I made it to the pump after being the 11th car in line, nothing but premium fuel was left. I empied it into my car, knowing this tank of gas would get me out of the hell I had suffered. I then dumped 6 more gallons into some containers for my neighbors and family. When I returned, I was met with a smile and a hug from my husband and we got the hell out of dodge, along with the neighbor's grandchild, and our neice and her family.

I have never, and will probably never endure such a disaster again. I prayed for those who were left behind without food and water, and ran like hell...I'm still in Kansas right now..fearful of the mess I left and what will be there when I return. Just a month prior, I was crying over Katrina, never knowing what was ahead of me. We thank God for keeping us alive, while wondering all the while why on earth we would ever have to endure or see what we saw.
Each night, Aidan still awakens from nightmares screaming and reaching for me. I pray that in time, his little baby mind will forget what he endured.

And India, yes I saw you..I felt you. My heart wept as I saw your children being excavated out of your collapsed homes and flooded tombs of office buildings. I am so sorry...so sorry for your loss. I feel so happy to have left with my life and the life of my children and family. I cannot begin to imagine your loss, and please know you are in my heart. Iram, I love you girl, and I'm glad you're safe!

My heart is still with New Orleans, but now I wish I could dice it up into millions of segments and spread it out to all of India and central Louisiana. If there is a God, I pray that you hear us and stop this madness.

Still breathing,
Pamela