And the Worst Mother of The Year Award Goes to......

ME. You heard it. I hereby name myself the "Worst Mother of The Year". I am going to have to do the dreaded, the thing I swore I would never do: send my kids away for someone else to take care of.

I woke up FOUR times last night to feed and change little A. Still, at 5 and a half months old, he refuses to sleep through the night. Mr. T, the oldest, refuses to potty train and woke up from his nap today with poo-poo all over himself, his clothes, his bed, his pillow..even his hair. He won't tell us when he has to go potty, so he sits in it, which has caused him to have a rash that is AWFUL. Despite my mother's wonderful attempts, the house is always a wreck, full of empty bottles and wrapped up, soiled diapers from where I have to wake up several times a night to feed Little A. Mr. T cannot eat without feeding the dog or the cat, which leaves his lunch all over himself, the cat/dog, the floor, the table, the chair...EVERYWHERE. I find myself on my knees scrubbing vegetable soup off the floor almost everyday.

Little A likes to vomit everywhere after meals. The vomit is constantly being cleaned off the carpet, his pajamas, his face, his hands, his hair. I think I reached my limit when he did his thang yesterday and the dog came and licked it up. Ahhhhhhhhhhh! Every mother, even good ones, reaches her limit.

But especially because I have Acute Leukemia, and I am now about to start my fifth round of chemotherapy AND the oldest one recently passed his bronchitis along to me. So when my sister-in-law sent me a very sweet and carefully written email, asking me to consider flying the kids out to stay with her ten states away, my mind wandered. And as guilty as I feel for saying this, I am thinking about it.

Please pray for us.